Why Going No Contact Is So Hard With A Narcissist, Explain Scientists

 / 

, ,
Why Going No Contact Is So Hard With A Narcissist

No contact rule is a perfect strategy to cut ties with a narcissist. Narcissists are very capable of manipulating you to get back to being their doormat using every way possible, also you will go through an emotional roller coaster after being in no contact with them. But it’s absolutely necessary to not let those emotions take you down on the road to recovery. Be firm, and do not let any ‘in-betweens’ come your way. This too shall pass.

โ€œNo Contact doesnโ€™t mean No Contact except for x, y, and z. By No Contact, I mean NO โ€” zero, nada, zilch โ€” Contact. To use Freshmen Orientation parlance: No means no.โ€ – Shrink4Men.com

Why Is It So Hard To Go No Contact With A Narcissist?

So, youโ€™re considering going โ€œno contactโ€ with your narcissist. And, youโ€™re on your way to finally taking back your life. But, are you ready to leave? Have you already left, or are you still trying to decide what to do?

Since youโ€™re here, reading this information, chances are that youโ€™ve already figured out that youโ€™re in a relationship with a toxic narcissist and that you at least need to consider going the โ€œno contactโ€ route, if you ever want to be happy again.

But, as Iโ€™m assuming you know, thatโ€™s a whole lot easier said than done, especially when the person in question is a close friend, family member, or significant other. And, if youโ€™re honest, what you REALLY want to know is exactly what is causing you to want the narcissist still when they were so terrible and abusive to you, right?

In any case, you need to know something important: itโ€™s not your fault that you feel so drawn to your abuser. Not technically, anyway. Walking away from a narcissist is going to take more than willpower. Let me explain.

Read: 5 Good Reasons To Leave a Narcissist

What Does It Mean To Go โ€˜No Contactโ€™ With A Narcissist?

If youโ€™re not aware of what โ€œno-contactโ€ means in reference to narcissistic relationships, letโ€™s start by defining it.

The No Contact Rule, Defined

No Contact Rule

Simply put, the โ€œno contactโ€ rule is enacted when you end ALL contact with a pathological narcissist or toxic person. This includes but isnโ€™t limited to the following.

  • Stop taking the narcissistโ€™s phone calls.
  • Block them on all social media networks.
  • Do not schedule or encourage visits with the narcissist.
  • Stop seeing, speaking to, or in any way interacting with them.

Itโ€™s not rocket science. Then why is it so difficult to enact and then to stick to the no contact rule?

Toxic Love Addiction: The Main Reason Why Going No Contact is So Hard

Do you know how I wrote a book entitled Your Love is My Drug? Thereโ€™s a scientific basis for the title: Researchers say that romantic love is an addiction. As in, it affects the brain just like a drug.

Logically, you know you shouldnโ€™t do things that are bad for you โ€“ like drugs. And toxic people who are bad for our lives โ€“ we all know we need to get/stay away. But, unfortunately, itโ€™s just not always so easy.

Romantic Love Stimulates The Same Area Of The Brain As Addiction.

According to researchers, weโ€™re biologically predisposed to this kind of behavior. See, thereโ€™s an evolutionary spin here โ€“ the loss of a potential baby-making mate would be bad for us as a species. On top of that, humans are hard-wired to develop bonds with other humans โ€“ another survival urge. Of course, in unhealthy relationships, this leads to trauma bonding.

Add together your biological need to bond and the need to keep your mate (or to feel great distress in the loss of them), and what do you have?

Narcissistic Abuse Leads To Dysfunction And Codependence.

It affects you like a drug, your relationship with this toxic person. And when youโ€™re not getting the sweet poison, you might miss it. A lot like a crack addict might miss his fix. When you think of it like that, you must see that youโ€™re not the problem here.

You must see that only you can create change in your life and that only you can take the steps you need to take to take back your life. You deserve to be happy. Donโ€™t forget that.

Read: Codependency in Toxic Relationships: Symptoms, Signs and How To Recover

How Do You Stop Being Addicted To The Narcissist?

These researchers are helping us to connect some pretty amazing stuff if you ask me. Stopping your addiction will be a process that is as complicated and difficult as trying to stop any other addiction, plus youโ€™ll be launching a whole new โ€œnormalโ€ in your life by ending a relationship in the process.

Itโ€™s not going to be easy. But I promise itโ€™s worth the effort, and you most definitely will not regret it when you are finally living in peace and tasting freedom from the toxicity you deal with when youโ€™re connected to the narcissist in your life.

The process might involve therapy and/or working with a coach. You might choose to go it your own. Maybe youโ€™ve got a friend or family member who understands and wants to help. But if you donโ€™t, you wouldnโ€™t be alone.


Written By:ANGIE ATKINSON
Originally Appeared On: Queenbeeing.com
Republished with permission.
Why Going No Contact Is So Hard With A Narcissist pin

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

Are Narcissists Delusional? 7 Signs Of A Delusional Narcissist

Are Narcissists Delusional? Signs Of Delusional Narcissists

Are narcissists delusional? It’s a question that has intrigued and confused many people out there. You must have come across certain people who seem to be a bit too obsessed with themselves, and who are always seeking admiration and validation from others. But what lies beneath this self-absorbed faรงade?

Are these people simply self-centered beings, or is there something lurking beneath the surface? Today, we are going to take a deep dive into the world of the delusional narcissist, and discuss seven glaring signs of a delusional narcissist.

So, are you ready to have your mind blown as we explore the darker side of narcissism and the tangled path it leads down? First let’s talk a bit about whether narcissists are delusional or not.



Up Next

Brain Fog After Narcissistic Abuse? 8 Ways Narcissists Can Muddle Your Brain

Brain Fog After Narcissistic Abuse? Reasons Why It Happens

Have you ever heard of the term “brain fog”? Brain fog is like a maddening haze that seems to muddle your thoughts, makes you forget what you were saying, and has you searching for your clothes in the trash bin? Well, today we are going to talk about a specific sort of brain fog – brain fog after narcissistic abuse.

Imagine that you have just escaped from a toxic and abusive relationship with a narcissist. You are slowly picking up the pieces and trying to get your life back in order, but somehow you feel like your head is not in the right place. Everything still feels very odd and you still feel very lost.

Even though you are free from the clutches of your narcissistic ex, this bizarre mental fog just won’t lift. Let’s explore how narcissists cause brain fog, and the link between brain fog and narcissistic abuse.



Up Next

Manipulating A Manipulator: 8 Subtle Tricks That Will Give You The Upper Hand

Manipulating A Manipulator: Subtle Psychological Tactics

Ever found yourself tangled in a web spun by a master manipulator? It’s a frustrating dance where you are treated like a pawn in their toxic mind games, and your are always the one who is one step behind. But what if I told you there’s a way to turn the tables? What if manipulating a manipulator may not be that hard?

Yes, you read it right. This isn’t just about defending yourself and holding onto your sanity; it’s about mastering the art of subtle manipulation.

In this article, we are going to talk about eight remarkably clever and subtle manipulation tactics that will empower you to regain control and outwit even the most cunning of manipulators. So, are you ready?

Related:



Up Next

Toxic Bosses Unmasked: 20 Warning Signs to Watch For

Toxic Bosses Unmasked: Warning Signs to Watch For

Having a toxic boss can really take a toll on you mentally, and toxic bosses are seriously so horrible. This article is going to help you understand the traits of a toxic boss so that you know which behaviors are not normal and ethical. Read on to know more about the signs of a toxic boss or toxic bosses.

We hear about toxic bosses all the time, but how do you know when a boss is โ€œtoxicโ€? โ€œToxicโ€ is, of course, a vague descriptor. Are bosses toxic when they throw fits and scream, or only when they break the law?

Or are they toxic when they are immoral or unethical? Are they toxic if theyโ€™re nice one day and nasty the next, or just when they make you uncomfortable, nervous, or sick? These are valid questions because these individuals are easy to identify when their behaviors are outrageous; but perhaps less so when their behavior



Up Next

How to Deal With a Compulsive Liar: 9 Effective Compulsive Lying Treatment Techniques for Peaceful Relationships

Tips for Compulsive Lying Treatment and Restoring Trust

Ever met someone who constantly distorts the truth, weaves elaborate tales or downright lies all the time? Dealing with a compulsive liar can be perplexing and frustrating. This is why it is crucial that you learn about compulsive lying treatment and how to deal with compulsive lying in a healthy way. 

Welcome to the world of compulsive liars and compulsive lying, where every story seems too good to be true. These individuals spin elaborate tales effortlessly, blurring the lines between fact and fiction. 

Let’s unravel the psychology behind this intriguing phenomenon by exploring the mysteries surrounding compulsive lying, exploring compulsive liar symptoms, what causes compulsive lying, and most importantly, the available compulsive lying treatment options. 



Up Next

7 Glaring Characteristics Of A Shallow, Superficial Person

Superficial Person: Major Signs Of A Shallow Person

In a world where social media reigns supreme, appearances often take center stage, and the allure of superficiality can be hard to resist. You must have encountered many such people whose charm seems as fleeting as a summer breeze, leaving you wanting for something deeper and more meaningful. Well, you may have come across a superficial person.

Today we are going to take a deep dive into the world of superficial, shallow people, characteristics of a superficial person, and how to deal with a superficial person, so that you know how to distinguish between a genuine person and a not-so-genuine one.

Where facades reign supreme and authenticity takes a backseat, let’s explore how the world of a superficial person looks like.



Up Next

Spirituality Or Ego? What Is Spiritual Narcissism And How To Spot A Spiritual Narcissist

Ego in Disguise: The Hidden Faces of Spiritual Narcissism

Ever met someone who seems to have achieved spiritual enlightenment but is more interested in flaunting their “superiority” than spreading love and compassion? Enter the realm of spiritual narcissism – a phenomenon that hides behind the faรงade of spirituality while harboring self-centered motives. 

These individuals exude an air of spiritual superiority. It’s like meeting a guru with an ego the size of Mount Everest. They are quick to shower you with their seeming enlightenment, yet their actions may leave you feeling disheartened or even manipulated.

Today, let us uncover what is spiritual narcissism, explore the spiritual narcissist