Modern dating is as it is so very tricky to navigate, with all sorts of toxic trends being there and all, like ghosting, breadcrumbing, pocketing, etc. Now there’s another toxic dating trend that is, unfortunately, gaining a lot of popularity these days, known as cookie jarring.
Even though the term sounds a bit funny, the practice is really not. Being cookie jarred and dealing with cookie jarring is one of the most difficult and emotionally painful experiences there is. Before we dive deep into the signs of cookie jarring, it’s important to know what does cookie jarring mean.
Related: When The Married Man You’re Dating Ghosts You: This Is What It Means
What Is Cookie Jarring?
Cookie jarring is a dating trend where your ‘partner’ puts you in the ‘cookie jar’, while they pursue another relationship. Basically, they put you on standby and make all sorts of false promises about how they are serious about you and like you, but they never seem to make good on their promises.
They will want to sleep with you, go out on dates with you, call you, and text you regularly, but will not get into a serious relationship with you. They might be in a serious relationship with someone else, but they want you on the side too.
Cookie jarring in relationships happens because the one who is guilty of doing it is insecure. They always need someone on the side to fulfill their desires, in case their primary partner is not giving them what they want.
If their partner is busy, they will hit you up to go on a date. If they feel lonely and their partner is busy, they will turn to you to make them feel better. All you are for them is a second option, and nothing more.
So, are you being cookie jarred?
8 Warning Signs Of Cookie Jarring
1. You have started to suspect they’re in a relationship with someone else.
No matter how many times they tell you that they are single, you just know that they are seeing someone else. You have noticed that they avoid going to certain places with you, always keep their phone facedown when they are with you, refuse to share their password, and get flustered when you want to talk about the future of your relationship.
You might find their phone busy at late hours and when you ask them about it, they get defensive and argumentative. All the signs point towards them dating someone else apart from you.
Related: 7 MAJOR Signs You Are A Victim Of Pocketing
2. You don’t feel like you have an important position in their life.
You have not met any of their friends. They claim to be serious about you but have made no effort in introducing you to their family. They don’t really care about your wishes and expectations, no matter how hurt you may feel.
All of these are major warning signs that you are not important in their life, and they are simply taking you for a ride. They always try to keep you separate from their personal lives, and when you try to talk to them about this, they avoid the conversation and even avoid you.
3. You almost never go out together in public.
This is one of the biggest red flags that you are being cookie jarred. If your partner never goes out with you in public, and only prefers to spend time with you at home, then it can be one of two things or maybe even both – they are ashamed of you, or they don’t want to be seen with you in public.
Maybe they are dating other people, or they don’t want to bump into someone familiar. If you were important to them, and if you were the only one for them, then they would never hide you from everyone else. If your partner is being shady like this, then don’t take this lightly.
4. You never get to talk about your future together.
If someone is genuinely interested in you and sees a future together with you, you won’t have to force them or chase them to talk about this; they will want to discuss your future together. But if your partner is not doing this, then unfortunately, they have no interest in being with you in the long term.
They will either avoid talking about it or will simply start avoiding you. You deserve better than this, and if you are being treated like this, then you shouldn’t give them an important position in your life.
Related: What Is Monkey Branching In Relationships? 35 Signs Your Partner Has A Side Babe
5. Whenever you want to end things, they start to shower love on you.
One of the biggest reasons behind cookie jarring is that they don’t want to feel lonely, so they keep you on standby so that when they need someone to support them, you will be there to do so.
So, the moment you start to give up on them and make the decision of breaking up, they leave no stone unturned in wooing you. They will shower you with gifts, love, attention, and time, and will make you feel like the center of their Universe.
This is a manipulative tactic that stops you from leaving them and every time you think of ending things, they will trick you into coming back.
6. They always promise that they’ll leave their partner/spouse, but it never happens.
They always try to convince you that they will leave their partner and pursue a monogamous relationship with you, but they never seem to keep their word. When you confront them about this, they make all sorts of excuses like they need some more time, or their partner is problematic & that’s why they feel apprehensive.
The actual truth is that they have no intention of breaking up, all they want to do is keep you as a backup so that they always have someone to lean on whenever they did something, or when they feel lonely. For them, you are nothing but a spare.
7. They never post about you on social media.
Neither do they post about you on social media, nor do they let you. You are always treated as a dirty secret that can never be revealed to the public. At the same time, they have no problem posting pictures with other people, including their partner/spouse.
Even if you have been together for quite some time, they will refuse to make the relationship public, no matter how much it may bother you or hurt you.
Related: STOP Dating Him Immediately! 3 Warning Signs He’s Playing You
8. They never answer their phones in front of you.
If your partner feels uncomfortable answering calls in your presence, and even waits to text back unless you are out of the room, then it’s a massive red flag for cookie jarring. This means that they are trying to hide something, maybe another romantic partner.
If you are serious about someone, you shouldn’t feel scared, apprehensive, or awkward answering calls and texts in their presence. So if your partner is being shady like this, be careful, because they’re definitely up to something.
If you can relate to most or all of these signs, then unfortunately you are having to deal with cookie jarring. You deserve better, and you deserve someone who will give all of them to you, instead of scraps here and there.
Let such a toxic person go, and even though it might hurt at first, trust me, the right person WILL come along at the right time and will love you the way you deserve to be loved.
Want to know more about whether your partner is serious about you or not? Check this video out below!
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